Navigating the World with a Gender-Fabulous Child

Archive for March, 2015


We went on an impromptu  shopping trip. Not with the intention  of buying  anything…more to get a feel for R’s  style. She picked out a nice 1 piece bathing suit (didn’t actually  buy it) likes overall  shorts and saw some cute ass shirts she loved. Hoping  her father files his taxes soon so we can use some of it to add to her wardrobe  for next uear. Plus she needs some summer clothes as well.


To the doctor we went

For those close enough (or willing  to travel) Dr. Hawkins  with Children’s  Hospital  of Philadelphia  is GREAT! R and I saw her yesterday  and immediately  R was at ease in talking to her. She obviously  feels strongly that R isn’t  just experimenting and this isn’t  “just a phase”. Dr. Hawkins  is referring  us to an Endocrinologist  and asking  the PCP to order a few tests to determine  where R is with puberty  so we better know when blockers should be started.
Between  speaking  to me and speaking  to R she feels there is consistent  and persistent  feelings. She will (obviously) meet with us more but as R has been expressing this since such a young age she feels this is the right direction  for R ‘ s needs.
She will also refer us to a therapist  closer to home (she refers out to 3 in our home state) to help guide R through social transitioning  at school and with family.
Dr. Linda Hawkins
3550 Market St
Philadelphia, PA

Barbara  is the one who gets all the information  for your child to get them into the system  and get insurance  approval:

I am also seriously  considering   (in a few years) going back to school to become an advocate for the LGBTQ/IA  kids. Not all parents give the unconditional  love. While counseling  the kids is admirable, your  hands are tied in actually  DOING for them. As an advocate  I could do so much more!

I feel like no one is trying.

I really don’t expect an immediate  change, but I don’t feel like anyone in this house except  me and the oldest daughter are even attempting to use proper name or pronouns.
If by April  1st I still don’t see any effort I am going to tell R not to answer anyone unless they get her pronouns  or name right!
Maybe that’s a touch over dramatic but she will be presenting  female at school. How can I expect her to command respect there when she doesn’t  receive  it at home!?

Signs, Signs, everywhere signs

That it is time.
1st: T chose a new name and I formed everyone  they need to use the she/her pronouns   (she will now be referred to by R here on the blog). The name she chose was my grandmother’s  name. She never knew my grandmother’s  name!
Sign 2: a friend  posted this


Sign 3: a different  friend posted this


Why did these things come at the perfect  time you ask? R’s  older brother outed her to a schoolmate  today. R has been having some serious anxiety  all day because of it. She decided  that she wants the school to know. I will be meeting with a few staff members  tomorrow. R will stay home with me and return on Wednesday.
We are starting to draft a letter to family and friends who do not know yet.
I think we are both ready for this!

Leave the Gender out

… T is just FABULOUS. I am so lucky that this brave and self-aware human being chose me as their mom. I am inspired a little more every day by this kiddo.
All day we were all over the place in social settings and T never seemed to cower. Even better, T didn’t  get 1 odd look 🙂
Even used the girls  bathroom  in every place we went. So very proud ❤

Big step today

T is out in public  with their nails painted and “girl” clothes  on.
This AM when my middle daughter asked “he or she” T said   (loudly and proudly) “SHE”.
AFTER my son’s dr appointment  we are going to visit  a friend. T knows pictures  could be taken and still chose to be theirself  🙂

All the kids are home

T feels comfortable  in their pink clothes today 🙂
Nails painted to match of course.